These diary entries are part of the CARP project. They capture my accounts of things that seem noteworthy as they come up. They are part of a data collection process which will revised at a later date to pick up on recurring themes. They are not a narrative and completely scattergun. They are part of the learning process.
Wed 26th July 2023 – Awake at 4am again with head full of ideas. I think Ageing Runner is making me look my own mortality in the face. That is very freeing. Live each day. I found myself thinking about getting an Ageing Runner ID band made for when I run. Feels important. I think that it about being part of a community and being part of something when I slip it on. I feel the same thing about wearing a lanyard at work. Belonging.
Also spent time thinking about Steven Fuller’s work on post truth. It is hard to know who to believe when I read about running and ageing. Who is setting the rules of the game for the running community. Feels like there are a lot of people willing to step into the knowledge gap and tell us how to see the world. Things that are a given need to be challenged.
Plantar fasciitis is much less this morning. Interval session round the Entwistle reservoir this morning. Once round to warm up and then 3 x 2 mile efforts. Really enjoyed it. I felt that I was on top of the pace and was able to maintain for throughout. A blast again and despite the effort, my mind was free.
One thing I have noticed is my lack of confidence on rocky trails. I fell a year ago and haven’t mentally recovered. I feel vulnerable. The faster I go, the less I think about it. I raced this rocky trail a few weeks ago and it didn’t cross my mind. My right calf felt absolutely fine. At the end of the run, I ended up chatting with a runner who was walking her dog. Good to chat. Thinking about last night’s trail run. Really enjoyed it. I felt an internal pressure to go with the group that going over the tops. I just didn’t fancy it. I wonder where that pressure comes from. I need to run my own life and not someone else’s. I run flat roads!
Friday 28th July 2023
Two days off running and caught up with some reading. Shappi Khorsandi’s book on ADHD. Fascinating. I probably need to blog about each chapter to help me understand myself a bit better. I think that I need to read, read, read. Both the academic world and the views of runners and then process and relate it to my own situation. That is how I learn. Through writing. Signed up as a volunteer at Parkrun. Funnel manager!
Saturday 29th July 23
I was glad for the 2 days rest from running. Feel good this morning and went out with Mac for 5.5 miles. Felt very easy.
I enjoyed volunteering at Parkrun. I liked seeing a father and his adult son crossing the line together. Every runner had their own story. Parkrun gives such a lot to so many people.
I think I have a burning impatience in the pit of my stomach that is making me difficult. It is there all the time. Maybe burning the candle at both ends is not such a good thing. Many benefits but downsides too. How do I strike a balance that is right for me. Keeps the flame burning but is sustainable and healthy.
Good to go and sing with Rock Choir this afternoon. I felt melancholy before singing but lifted afterwards. Nice to meet a few new people. I am struck by the need to not put all my eggs into the running basket. Injury can end up in loneliness. I have experienced that and don’t want to go there again.
Sunday 30th July 2023
Up early to choose my 5 reads of the week. I started with a long list of 16 articles and whittled down to 5. It was mostly those who dig deep and have a bit of substance behind them. Those I couldn’t bring myself to close the tab on. Really enjoyed the process and writing up what I had learnt from each. So many charlatans out there. I want to present ageing runners with the info and let them make up their own minds and find their own way.
I ran a 16 miler in Altra Torins this morning. They worked well over the distance. I felt pressure to run this morning. I think I am better getting the long run out of the way on Saturday if I can. I felt good and strong and can tick, tick, tick at a decent pace. I notice that going uphill. My cadence over the 16 miles was 182. Feels important to note [When I read someone advising against something I have found beneficial, I bridle against it]. After the run, I drank a pint of water every half hour. Important to rehydrate without heading to junk food.
I ran this morning on the roads. I am feeling a pressure to run on the hills but I enjoy road running.
Read somewhere today that one secret of ageing well is alcohol but in moderation. I like a pint but not much more than that. I have no interest in binge drinking. My head spins more than it used to. Also read today about running having a mitigating effect on cortisol which rises as we age.
I picked up an email about leadership theory today. It sparked my interest and made me consider how this project is as much about creating a community as anything. I wonder why. If I am going to do that I need to understand about leadership and culture. There is a link to my prior work in that this blog is about learning through reading and writing and then using Gadamer and hermeneutics to help me learn. I am getting a lot of pleasure from finding people doing the same thing that I am. A tribe.
I have speculated on why I have not followed through with open water swimming. I enjoyed it but I think it may be to do with kit. It is such a faff. I have never been a person with hobbies which require kit. Running is so immediate.
I keep getting the urge to lift weights – I think that strength training is going to be important. Need to cut through the self-promoters and research it properly.
I have had a few laughs with people as I am running past them. An elderly chap shouted, ‘You’re going too fast for me.’ I turned round and replied. ‘I’m going too fast for me!’. We both laughed and it was nice to make a connection in the street with someone I don’t know.
Monday 31st July 23
I weighed in at 10 stone exactly this morning. My weight has levelled out. Not sure on my feelings about that.
Left ankle and arch sore after 16 miler. I have a growing respect for rest days – I am messing round with schedule too much and feel a sense of trepidation about the plan. Left knee cracking when driving and going upstairs. Never done that before. I think the heavy mileage is taking its toll. Can’t continue.
I was up at 5am again writing after going to bed at gone 11pm. I know that can’t continue and me be OK. I am burning the candle at both ends which feels good but I also know I need to add some discipline and get the sleep I need. Personal dilemma.
I made a list this morning. It helps wrangle my brain. I divert from it but it helps get things out of my head and I can come back to it when I need to.
My Garmin says that my VO2 max is 43 ml/kg/min- I have no idea what that means – It says it is in the top 25% for someone my age. My cadence averaging 183. That feels important.
I have found a purpose on twitter. I want to prize those runners (older but not just older) who have done something and few have commented. Gives my scrolling a purpose and builds connection.
I got emotional listening to podcast with Rosie Swale Pope. I read her book a few years ago about her little run around the world. I found myself saying that I am going to make the next 30 yrs. my best ever. Make it about people and connection. I have set off down the path, vaulted the gate (opened it and walked through more like) and set off running around the world (25,000 miles in 25 years). It is going to be an adventure. Don’t know who I am going to meet but there are going to a few runs, a few brews and pints along the way. I hope I can run alongside people (in real life and virtually) for a chat. That is what I enjoy about club running.
I found myself drawn in by the English Masters qualification times stuff after reading about it on the on Chester marathon page. Interesting thing to aim for.
Ran Monday Milers session tonight for the first time. Pouring down. 4 miles at just under 8 min mile pace. Felt good towards end. Stopped at 6 miles for the day and walked home. Recovery, recovery, recovery. Bumped into Martin (70 yrs. old) walking in rain after evening meal as part of his routine. He is disciplined and works at it. Feels important enough to note
Tuesday 1st August 2023
I was up early again and ready to write. Woke up thinking about Ageing Runner. It is a website about learning as much as anything. It is about the nature of the world and how we make sense of it. It is Reading, writing, running. – Learning through the process and then helping people do all three. I think that my niche is helping people journal with purpose and make running work for them. Help them find the things that make them fulfilled and happy. Timelines of joy.
It feels good to have some structure, especially during the holidays. A reading and writing plan, a training plan and running club sessions add some structure to the week.
Having paper in my pocket and by my side helps me dump ideas and reduces (doesn’t stop) me going down rabbit holes and losing hours. It gets the ideas out and parks them. I am realising that I don’t need to follow up on them all and act on impulse. I just need them out of my head and to stop worrying that I will lose them.
The top of my left ankle is sore this morning. I have the sense that I am pushing it to the limit. Causing me some anxiety. I need to barefoot.
Shappi Khorsandi’s book talks about decluttering not being about having a tidy room but about be more able to live in the moment rather than being weighed down by the past. I think I need to devote some time to that rather than just being hostage to my ongoing need to press on. It feels like a compulsion. I need to tidy my life a little…or a lot. And then make time to keep on top of that. It is a discipline.
I saw someone’s bio on twitter saying that ‘Being kind is a lifestyle choice’. I agree. I am getting a lot from commenting on tweets from people who have done something which they are personally proud of. It takes something to put yourself out there. I can see the pride in their faces. Reminds me of Parkrun (just volunteered again). Runners need prizing. I met a runner this morning who said ‘You’re so fast’. I should have stopped and said ‘You are awesome’ for just being out there.
2 mile warmup with Mac, 8 miles tempo (4xJumbles loop) and wonderfully slow barefoot mile to finish). I think that there is something about tempo running that hits a sweet spot. I have no issue with any niggles whilst running. Left me feeling relaxed and that I was capable. Enjoyed sitting on top of the pace and my confidence on the trails increased through each lap.
