I have run a few barefoot miles this week and I have not done that for a few years. When I ran barefoot every day, I ran very early in the morning and met all the same people. Most got used to me, we had a chat and they understood what I was doing. I am now meeting a whole new set of people and finding myself having to explain things again. Workmen were out and I found myself not wanting to run past their wagon. I almost went the other way. I anticipated comments and sure enough they came. Nothing nasty but I find it hard. I am not running to be noticed. I like to be in the background. I quite like running in the dark and in the fog in my own bubble. I remember resenting the lighter morning as spring arrived. I enjoy the camaraderie but also the enclosed moving space that I inhabit when I run alone.
That being said, I have also really enjoyed joining in conversations this week. I ran wearing hearing aids for the first time which meant that I didn’t miss what was being said and I was more able to connect. It is amazing how many people also think that they need to go and get a test. They want to know the process. I will write a post about it sometime soon. I am finding it easier to chat to people in general. It is not something I find easy but the more I do it, the more natural it feels. I approached a runner before Parkrun (I was volunteering) and we chatted about a half-marathon we had both just done and upcoming races. I am finding it easier to say hello, have a quick chat to connect and then moving on. It was great to just sit and chat after a club run this week. Connecting is more about listening than talking. You need a way in, to listen and a way out. It is a work in progress for me but one that I am really enjoying. It is enriching my life.
I did make a mistake though. I was introduced to a runner at our effort session. He had driven over from the other side of town to take part. He is 82 years old. I asked him what his secret was. That felt crass. I need to be better than that. It is though age is all I care about. He is not like most older runners, who seem to migrate towards longer races. Maybe older runners migrating to longer races is a defence mechanism to avoid facing up to slower times. I think that slower times are OK. It is about the process. It has always been that. Why change now? The times are not the metric, it is whether I have optimised the process and got the best out of myself.
The process has left me waking up twice this week feeling intimidated by both the distance and the pace of runs that I have coming up. I have some pain in foot and I am worried that combining distance and speed will do some damage. I am not used to this feeling. Part of my wants to listen to it and not run as hard and part of me think that this is just a normal part of the process. I am doing something new and I am bound to feel nervous. I felt intimidated last week, did it anyway and was fine. Maybe I just need to stick to the plan.
Plans are part of my nature. I tend to give myself routines to follow and then stick to them. Sometimes those routines do not allow me the time and space to stand back and be strategic. I get caught up in ensuring that my running and blogging schedule is fulfilled that I don’t stop to be more strategic. I know that there is a better way if only I have the time to stop and think about it for a while. As part of this reading, writing and running process, I am trying to develop a second brain and refine my processes. That has meant that I have not been able to keep up with my planned blogging schedule (that no-one cares about but me) and that causes me angst. I guess this blog is as much about how we learn than anything else. I need to do less but do it better. Probably just the same for my running. Less but more quality. I need to build in time to review and evaluate and make it part of the process.
My first running podcast went out this week. It was an emotional experience. I don’t mind if no-one watches or listens. It would be nice if they did but it more a case of giving me a creative outlet. It may develop into a runners’ journal club where we look at a paper each month in-depth. Perhaps I can incorporate a little about how my own running is going in that or maybe I need two pods a month. We will see how it goes. No rush. This is not work, it is play. I need to remember that.
For now, We run, we chat , we smile! – Chris
